What happened to fitness?
I dont know about you, but there was a time when fitness was about getting and staying healthy or training for a particular sport. When did it all become about getting laid?
I know, that would be nice too. But seriously, when did that shift happen? Almost any fitness site that you go to now has sex tips, dating advice, flirting tips or some other nonsense. And its usually pretty high up on the page, right after some new workout theyre touting. They even have exercises that they claim will make your lady scream your name in bed. Now, Im not saying they wont, but what the f*%k?
Is this what magazine editors think all men think about? Sex and women and pleasing them? I would feel insulted except I know its partly true. Its true from the imbeciles at the gym that show off for the girls, its true from the guys with 14″ guns wearing tank tops, its true from most mens insecurity about their size(Im looking at you YellowSun). But really, lets move past it already. Lets realize that every activity in a man’s life doesnt have to boil down to sex. We dont want high paying jobs for sex. We dont want fast cars for sex. We dont want to work out for sex. So stop shoving it down our throats.
If they have to give dating advice, thats fine. I guess thats what Ted in marketing told them would sell magazines. But dont mix it in with every other section. For once, lets remove sex from an aspect of our lives.
What’s with the Michael Jordan hate?
BrownManofColour,
Please have the decency to sign your post if you’re going to be saying ridiculous things. Do you honestly believe that the knowledgeable NBA fan (the only people who give a damn about trivialities such as Hall of Fame inductions) lionizes MJ for his morals or even his management skills? And really even if some idiot still chooses to view professional athletes as role models, how is MJ complicit in this? He doesn’t hide any of his flaws – he just plays up his superhuman skillz on the court (MJ deserves a gratuitous misspelled ‘z’).
Any real NBA fan knows and remembers his faults well. He gambles too much. He ruined Kwame Brown. He’s a womanizer. Post-40 he still parties with 20-something douchebags in Cabo.
MJ being classy in Cabo in 2008 (Image via Bumpshack.com)
MJ, to the best of my knowledge, denies none of this. In fact he seems to revel in his flaws. As imperfect as he was on the basketball court, he’s kind of an ass off of it. But unlike a certain mega-superstar in L.A., he doesn’t tearfully apologize to his wife for his unfaithfulness because he was forced to do so after (wrongfully) being accused of rape (hint: I’m not talking about a Clipper). Instead, MJ just does weird, morally questionable actions and dares you to criticize him. What’s wrong with that?
And if his response to public scrutiny about his ambiguous morals is to ram an Air Jordan commercial down our throats, what should we care? After all, is it MJ’s fault that we all want to forgive a man who dunks like this?
Don’t act like you’re not impressed. I’ve seen you forgive people for less. Like a shiny quarter.
Now get off your soapbox. Judging by your funk, you should be using its contents instead.
YellowSun
Michael Jordan is a fraud
What if thats what tomorrow’s newspapers read? What if tomorrow, all over the internet, it was read in big bold letters that MJ was a fraud?
Tomorrow, as any orange-blooded basketball fan knows, is the day that MJ will be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame. But, as we look back at his legacy, we have a tendency to glamorize him, to remove his faults and only remember his “Hollywood” moments. To de-humanize him and turn him into a perfect person, incapable of error. Is it because if we saw his faults it would somehow diminish his accomplishments? Because if we realized he was human just like us we would feel worse because of our lackluster accomplishments? Why do we do it?
MJ wasn’t perfect. He was ferocious, an All-NBA defender and scorer, a fantastic dunker, incredibly athletic, the greatest of all time, and the list goes on and on. But he wasn’t perfect. He gambled. He had mistresses. He humiliated teammates and organization executives. He tormented opponents and their fans. He didnt know when to call it quits. He was far from perfect.
But isn’t that what makes him great? He had so many mistakes along the way in his career, yet his accomplishments are so massive they dwarf those minor mis-steps. Isn’t that a testament to the man’s greatness? Being like Mike entails a silky smooth jumper, tenacious D, clutch shooting, and being a winner. Its synonymous with his name No kid on earth would associate gambling or mistresses with being like Mike. But being Zidane means headbutting people when you dont like them. Being Vick means having dog fights. Being Kobe means being egotistical. When you look at his peers even in other sports, you realize MJ really stood head and shoulders above the competition.
He could do almost anything he wanted and no one would care. Heck you only need to find an MJ hater (and there are quite a few of those) to know MJ had his faults. But on top of everything else, his greatness lies in the fact that he was flawed. Deeply flawed. But for those 40 or so minutes that he was on the court, his performance was so scintillating, his charisma so charming that you forgot his misdemeanors (or atleast they didnt matter as much anymore). If you found out that half the stories about him were exaggerated, would you think any less of him? I wouldnt. He still played better than everyone else, still won 6 rings, still dominated on both ends of the court like no one else has since.
Tomorrow MJ will be enshrined in the HOF. He will take the final step in achieving immortality. But when everyone is singing his praise, lets not exaggerate or get caught up in the Space Jam moments, lets remember him as he really was. An awesome and truly unique talent, who comes around once in a blue moon, but so great that he was able to overcome even his own demons to win us over.
Gym Ettiquette
Comments (3)OK, Ive been a gym rat for many years now and there are certain things that I just can’t stand and I hope people will stop, but they dont. The gym is really one of my favourite activities of all, so when people do the following it really pisses me off. So here’s a guide to what you definitely cannot do at the gym. Lets start with people who commit the most heinous gym crimes:
People who warrant capital punishment:
1- People who don’t wear deodorant. Enough said.
2- People who wear too much cologne/perfume. Breathing is important while working out, and no one wants to choke in your cologne. We get it, you can afford Armani, no need to empty the bottle on yourself.
3- People who talk to people while they’re working out. Its not a bar, or a party, I’m not here to win friends, I’m here to pummel my body into submission under several hundred pounds of iron and I can’t do it with you asking stupid questions. If you don’t know, ask a trainer. Last time I checked, I’m not one.
4- People who wear inappropriate clothing. Guys, no short shorts. EVER. Regardless of how thick your legs are, this is a crime against humanity. Because any time you do leg presses or sit ups everyone can see your junk, and we really didnt want to. Also, no wife beaters. Unless youre a supermodel and have a physique that looks like God descended from the heavens just to sculpt your body from a block of wood, you shouldnt’ be wearing anything less than a t-shirt. And if you think its hot, it’s not. In fact, there’s nothing more attractive than a man who fills up his shirts naturally (and doesnt buy extra small clothes or wear wife beaters). Girls, no mini tank tops. Even if you have a killer stomach and it looks really hot, keep in mind that almost no body part looks hot when sweaty. So seeing your toned tummy covered in sweat is quite annoying. I know it’s hot at the gym, but a pure cotton t-shirt wont kill you. As a general rule of thumb: clothing for the gym should be cool, comfortable, and should keep you looking decent when you’re covered in sweat.
5- People who dance at the gym. Or talk excessively. This actually makes my blood boil. Some fucker just met his old buddy and decided to leave his towel on the bench/machine while catching up on all the beers they had. Either walk away and let someone else use the bench or shut up and get back to work. Its not your sofa, and unlike you, the rest of us are busy and have precious little time at the gym so we like to make the most of it. And dancing? I know youre listening to music and its probably upbeat, but I dont see a disco ball or dance floor anywhere. Take that shit outside.
6- People who move your towel and start working in. There’s no excuse for this. If there’s a towel there, its in use. Come back later. Don’t move my towel and change the settings and weights and work yourself in. I don’t know why people do this, its like they’ve never heard of going for a drink or doing super sets. Believe me, I’m not wasting time checking out girls or “hanging with ma buds”, I’m here to workout. Let me finish and you’ll get the machine/bench quickly enough.
People who commit less egregious gym crimes, but that still warrant serious punishment:
1- Girls who wear makeup at the gym. Even I know this, makeup clogs your pores and runs when you get sweaty. Either apply it sparingly the day youre going to the gym, or take it off. Because when it get smudged like that, you look like you just walked out of a homeless shelter and everyone feels sorry for you.
2- People who dont use towels at the gym. This is just common sense. Youre at the gym, you sweat, that sweat touches the bench/machine and other people then have to sit in it. Its the humane thing to do to cover the bench with your towel. No one wants your germs and I know you dont want theirs. So cover it up and no one gets hurt. And if youre one of those people that sweat a lot, thats ok, just wipe the bench down. That’s all I ask.
3- People who think the gym is a fashion show. Its not. I saw some punk the other day walking around in a fedora. A fucking fedora. Really? You’re sweaty, fat, wearing socks with shorts and a fedora at the gym. First off, that’s a serious fashion faux pas right there. Second, its the gym, is it really sunny in here that you need that? Is there a girl at the gym that will overlook your ridiculous appearance because you’re wearing a fedora? On this topic, people who wear wool winter hats at the gym should be beaten with the weights that they’re working out with. And they always wear them with a wife beater too. Either its cold inside, in which case wear a proper shirt, or its hot inside in which case take the hat off. Imbecile.
4- People who don’t respect your space. Ok, if you see someone doing lunges, don’t walk in front of them. If you see someone standing in front of a mirror working out, don’t come and stand in front of them. It’s that simple. I need a certain amount of space to work out, all I ask is that you respect it.
5- People who check themselves out in the mirrors. The mirrors are for monitoring your form. Only. Nothing else. Anyone caught doing anything else should be beaten with the weights they’re working out with.
6- People who talk/play games/check their facebook accounts/surf on their cell phones while at the gym. C’mon people. I have a Blackberry for work, which is always supposed to be attached to my hip and that I should be checking compulsively, but at the gym all of that stays in the locker. Do you know why? Because if you have the time to check your phone, you’re not working out hard enough. If you can remember to check your phone, you’re not working out hard enough. If you do check your phone, you are clearly not working out hard enough. So get out of the gym take care of your business, then come back when you’re serious about it. Amateurs.
Locker room crimes:
1- Walking around butt naked. I understand its a locker room and people are changing, but if you’re just naked and loitering you should be locked in a locker while a large Texan practices his swing. Either put some clothes on, a towel on, or get in the shower. No one wants to see your hairy back, saggy ass fat, or that pitiful excuse you call a penis. Put something on.
2- Checking out other people. This unfortunately is a crime all men commit, and ladies, on behalf of my entire gender I apologize. If you’re going to check someone out, do it DISCREETLY. If they know you’re doing it, it’s not discreet. Now I understand that sometimes a guy walks in with a killer physique and you’re just curious, so have a quick glance and move on. There’s no reason to stare.
If everyone followed these rules, the gym world would be a better place. If I missed any, let me know.
BrownManOfColour
